2024/02/28

…And I Lived…Ever After

Da Goddess @ 15:47

The doctor survived the suture and drain removal!

Don’t laugh. It was a close one.

I won’t lie. The drain removal hurt like a mofo. I cried a tiny bit. Then I swore…just a wee bit. Times three. I hyperventilated a big bit. I clenched up my entire body a huge bit. And I spontaneously blathered odd animal facts an enormous bit. So, the doctor survived. As did I.

My incision looks good. The drain area will close in a day or two. And I shall never Never NEVER need a trauma surgeon ever again. I hope.

Good God, I’m glad that’s over.

2024/02/08

My Parents Always Said I Had a Hard Head

Da Goddess @ 18:18

I now have proof of it. If I could post the pictures, I would. I’m currently the new favorite story for the trauma team at the local hospital.

No broken skull, thank God. But I do have 14cm (I think they said centimeters) of stitches, a drain, and half a head shaved. 24 hours later, I’m home and sporting a lovely dressing and am excited at the prospect of donning a shower cap so I can get cleaned up. Mud and some bison manure, plus lots of blood, need to go.

It’s been a very surreal 36 hours.

Still here, though! Still laughing. Gently. Too painful to do otherwise.

Signed,

Buffalo Gal

2023/12/25

Merry Christmas!

Da Goddess @ 00:06

Every year, this is how I celebrate Christmas.

Merry Christmas, friends! May you always remember the best moments of life and love today.

(more…)

2023/12/24

White Wine in the Sun

Da Goddess @ 22:33

One of my favorite songs for this time of year.

Christmas Eve in a Nutshell

Da Goddess @ 22:26

It’s pretty much the same for me every Christmas Eve. Well, musically. Mostly.

Here’s Justin Hines.

2023/11/23

Happy Thanksgiving!

Da Goddess @ 15:29

Here’s hoping you have so many blessings to count your plate of food needs reheating.

I’m having a nice, quiet day with GmaB. Late breakfast, watching the parade on TV, and doing laundry. I may take a nap later. After we tackle leftovers from our Tuesday Thanksgiving supper.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Thank you for being you.

2023/11/16

Farewell, Sir Fletch the Galumpher

Da Goddess @ 06:38

Fletch treed

The bestestest boy in the world is now the bestestest boy in heaven.

He left us on Monday, the day before his guesstimated/assigned birthday.

Fletchy may not have lived with me for the last two years, but he was as near as every beat of my heart. My sister and brother-in-law took such great care of him and he was so very happy with them.

There will never be another cat like my galumpher.

My heart has broken. The shards scattered to the very corners of the universe.

2023/10/22

Epenthesis & Anaptyxis

Da Goddess @ 14:53

Epenthesis and Anaptyxis walked into a bar and confused the hell out of everyone.

This week’s new words are wonderful. Simply wonderful. Or should I say they’re “wonderaful”?

Epenthesis (eh-penth-e-sis) is the adding of a vowel or sound to a word in order to facilitate pronunciation. Like “es-top” or “stop-e(h)”. Or “bu-lue”.

More spectacularly, the addition of the vowel in epenthesis has a specific name: (you guessed it!) anaptyxis (an-app-tu-sis). Think of Yogi Bear telling BooBoo he’s going to get that “pic-a-nic” basket. That’s epenthesis and anaptyxis in action.

What’s even more fun is when Epenthesis and Anaptyxis are out drinking and they run into and are mesmerized by Paragoge. Paragoge also goes by the name Proparalepsis. (Can you tell I love this stuff?)

Paragoge/Proparalepsis “refers to the annexing of an expletive syllable”. In some cases, you can think of it as a nickname for words and, (ed: er…um…) names. Like “Johnny, for John;” “deary, for dear;” “withouten, for without.” (ed: Or my personal favorite “broughten, for brought.”)

When someone asks me “what kind of weirdo are you?” I’m the kind of weirdo who loves this shit. And that’s the honest to God truth. I’m also just a huge ol’ word nerd.

Stay tuned for more words I’ve encountered which have charmed and enchanted me. I have a list. Yeah, an actual list.

Feel free to share words of your own in the comments section.

2023/10/16

A First Time for Everything: The Night I Lost My Virginity (to Craig Ferguson)

Da Goddess @ 00:28

I did it! Finally!

I lost my virginity.

Silly thing for a mom of two to write, but hear me out.

Craig Ferguson took my virginity. True. Fucking. Story.

October 7, 2023, is a day that will live in infamy for it was the day I finally got to go see Craig Ferguson on tour with his stand-up act. Not only that, but I met him, got a hug, he touched one of my tattoos (neener neener, wouldn’t you like to know which one!), and…and…and…it was all perfection. Mostly.

Yes, I’d been to tapings of his show many times over his ten year run as host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Yes, I’d been mere feet away from him. Yes, I laughed myself silly. But I hadn’t seen his stand-up show before.

I’d envied those I knew who had been many, Many, MANY times. They had met him. They got their picture taken with him. They…touched…him. I was happy for those people. But I stewed in my own bitter juices of jealousy in private. I feared I’d never get my moment with THE GREATEST, FUNNIEST, AND MOST HANDSOME SCOTTISH LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST AND COMEDIAN IN THE WORLD. But I did. It happened. And now my life is (mostly) complete. I say “(mostly) complete” because there was just one teeny weeny little problem with our conversation (okay, two teeny weeny little problems) (maybe three teeny weeny little problems, but definitely not more than three). Main problem the first: I’d forgotten to ask if he remembered a sketch from the show where a particular name was used. Why would it matter almost 20 years later? Because I was author of that name! Well, the author of half the name. And I wanted him to sign one of his books for me using that name. Big problem the second: I forgot to bring the book. Don’t look at me in that tone of voice! I know what I did and I know how stupid that was. Look, it’d already been a very long, hot day full of emotion* before I even left to make the journey out to the middle of nowhere to see him. I couldn’t possibly be expected to remember VERY IMPORTANT items I almost desperately wanted signed by THE GREATEST, FUNNIEST, AND MOST HANDSOME SCOTTISH LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST AND COMEDIAN IN THE WORLD! It’s like you don’t know me at all, people! Have you fallen so out of love with me your blog reading that you’ve forgotten all my (very) charming (and occasionally frustrating) quirks?

Le sigh.

I’m disappointed enough in myself, I don’t need your help in that department.

Problem the third: I also forgot to ask about his kids. Oh, the stories he told about his kids! So funny! So absolutely charming! So clever! The only kids I knew who were as funny and charming and clever as his kids were mine. Truly. I wanted to know if they continued to be funny, charming, and clever…like mine. Because: parents. IYKYK, right? Right.

All said and done, it was a beautiful day punctuated with the most magical evening of laughter and absolute joy. If I ever figure out how to post photos here again, I’ll post the pic of me beside THE GREATEST, FUNNIEST, AND MOST HANDSOME SCOTTISH LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST AND COMEDIAN IN THE WORLD. And you will once more envy my glamorous life. (Glamorous in that I had one night away from GmaB and the farm, but it still counts!)

And that’s the story of how Craig Ferguson took my virginity.

* My best friend got married and I photographed her wedding. She was completely stunning! She looked so happy! And the latter part is and was the most important part of the equation. I really want her to be happy.

2023/09/11

September 11

Da Goddess @ 00:13

I don’t like this day. I don’t like the memories of the many deaths, some of which were caught on camera. I don’t like thinking of the horror of the events this day 22 years ago.

I hate the fact far too many lost an important part of their family. I hate that it was hate which denied these people a chance at a future.

But, I remember, too, how neighbors came to the aid of those they didn’t know. How we turned to one another to comfort and be comforted. How untold numbers of men and women ran toward danger to help others, to help strangers.

We’ll never forget what happened 22 years ago, nor should we. We must remember the gut-wrenching terror and heartbreaking sorrow, the astonishing heroism and tender outpouring of love, and the tragedy that forever changed the world.

#NeverForget

2023/09/05

Kid Brain

Da Goddess @ 09:23

Kids say the darnedest things. They also think the darnedest things.

Today’s memory brought to you by the magic of Memory Dumps: Safe disposal of all your sensitive information. “If you don’t need to know it, we’ll make sure it’s the only thing you remember while simultaneously deleting vital information!”

So…anyway…I woke up recalling how I used to think She Walks In Beauty by Lord Byron was a great poem,but was confused by the “meat in the aspic” line. When I asked my mom about aspic, she reassured me that it could, indeed, contain meat or meat byproducts. Then she wanted to know why I was asking and I told her Grandma had read me a poem about it. Ever confused by my explanation, Mom called Grandma. After their conversation, my mom read me the poem again and explained the line is “meet in the aspect.” And there you have it: kid brain thoughts.

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.


And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

I think it would be an even better poem if it was about meat in aspic.

2023/08/25

Dragonfly

Da Goddess @ 14:27

Dragonflies have always fascinated me. They’re so dainty and delicate in appearance, but they’re tough and rid the world of pests. Dragonflies symbolize good luck, prosperity, and new beginnings. Funny that. When I got my first tattoo, I chose dragonflies and got the tattoo as I was starting divorce proceedings. I must’ve sussed the meaning before I actually learned this bit of trivia.

Today, GmaB and I watched dragonflies flit about and then, miraculously, watched as one began to lay eggs. Sadly, those eggs will come to nought as the chosen site isn’t next to water. I may have to find a way to put water just below the eggs and then relocate the nymphs once they emerge. (I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just winging it…hehee…winging it. Wing-ing. Wing. Dragonfly. And…)

I needed beauty in my life today. I’ve been feeling rather emotional the last couple days and our dragonflies brought me beauty by the bushel. Now, I must go so I can weep silently in the kitchen.

2023/08/19

The More You Know…

Da Goddess @ 17:28

I know enough to know I don’t know much. Because of this, I like to learn something new as frequently aspossible– if not every day.

Today I learned a large portion of Anheuser-Busch beers are partially made with rice. I mean, what?!? So, I did a little research (because I’m like that) and found the reason for this is the fermentable sugar at lower temperatures in rice (most likely short-grain white rice). It’s less expensive than barley, too. Using rice also produces a smoother flavor with less bitterness.

And, according to the three different articles I read (I limited the number of clicks because I refused to go down the rabbit hole today), sake is beer. I always thought it was wine. How have I lived 57 years and only just found out this information? Well, of course this meant I had to look into it. Wikipedia claims sake is…not really either. That’s backed up by sake-specific sites. It’s an “alcoholic beverage” with a brewing process different from beer AND wine.

It was around this time my head exploded. Sorry, brain. One too many facts, I guess.

Now that I’ve muddled my brain, I hope you find yours also sufficiently muddled. And speaking of muddling… No, no, no! I’m not going there. I’m going to have a look at what GmaB might want for dinner.

I Fucking Give Up

Da Goddess @ 13:01

I finally got a pic uploaded to the site, but I can’t post it. The file info is weird. The code I used to add it to the post is weird. When I save the post, the code duplicates itself and does funky shit to the code.

What I’m saying is this: WordPress, in its current configuration, sucks balls. Big ass dirty donkey balls.

This may well be the straw to end my blogging — after 21 years. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate. It. HATE IT. HATE. IT. HATE. HATE!!!

That is all.

End of transmission.

2023/08/12

Sunsets of the West

Da Goddess @ 20:00

The sunsets here are incredible. Every night, I’m treated to the most brilliant display of gorgeousness. It’d be boring if they weren’t so spectacular.

Can I share one here? Apparently not. I no longer see a way to do so. Oh well. Close your eyes and imagine the vibrant green of the lawn, the purples and greens of the alfalfa, the silhouettes of 50yr old trees and a windmill, all against the pinks, oranges, blues, and purples of a sleepy, warm sky. Maybe throw in the silhouette of a heron or egret while you’re at it. That’s what I suffer through each and every night. It’s torture. Pure torture. And I love it.