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May 04, 2008
Pickles! I Hate Pickles
I'm in more trouble than I thought. Instead of having to dig myself out of the lens hole by Thursday, I was just informed I have until tomorrow afternoon.
Uh...um...guess I better get out there and find some shelves NOW.
Holy &*$@*&!
Well, I knew this was going to be an issue. I just didn't know it was going to be one so soon. And you know what? I deserve this. I was too eager on my purchase (although it was a necessary one and a damn good deal). I have no buyer's remorse. No, this is more like dread at having to explain myself to someone who doesn't believe in me or what I might accomplish with my camera.
You know, I think that's what makes all of this so "dreadful" for me. I know my roommate doesn't believe in what I'm doing or hoping to do. It's disappointing for me. I'm surrounded by a lot of wonderful folks who DO, but he doesn't. It puts a distinct strain on our friendship. If he were a believer, he'd understand and support me. If he were a believer, he wouldn't be resentful of the time I spend with the camera trying to learn, to improve, to achieve. As it is, we don't go many places together anymore. For him, he feels abandoned when I take off to shoot. For me, I feel trapped in having to keep someone company when I think they should be lost in the music. Makes me wonder how this friendship ever survived to begin with. Maybe he thought the camera thing was "cute" at first, but it's become an issue since then.
Wow, that's more thought on the subject than I've given it in a long time.
I don't feel guilty about my lens purchase (and if you want to know exactly what I got and why it was such a good thing, there's a great review of the lens on eBay). Not at all. I know it was the right thing at the right time, but I know it won't be viewed that way by the roomie. I was supposed to get shelves, dammit. That'll be the sticking point. But I was also supposed to have four more days and could have pulled that off if the parameters hadn't changed without warning.
This is my pickle and it's not a particularly tasty one. Not that I like ANY pickles anyway, but you know what I mean. Figuratively, this pickle is sour and floppy and in the middle of a really yummy burger.
Phhttt.
Oh well. I hear the music. I'll have to pay the piper and I'll do it with my head held high.
Now I have to go get something to eat since I conjured up an image of a big juicy hamburger.
Posted by Da Goddess at May 4, 2008 12:23 PM