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December 24, 2005
Happy Wintersomething
Here's to all of you and all that you do!
Merry Holidays and much, much more!
Cards aren't going out until after Christmas due to illness, so apologies for that. The good news is -- I'm not dead yet.
I'm heading back to bed and those visions of sugar plums doing the can-can.
Go hug your loved ones and then have an extra sip of something yummy for me while you're out celebrating.
Posted by Da Goddess at 05:24 PM | Comments (16)
December 17, 2005
It Just Ain't Christmas Until "Chinky Elvis" Carols You
His sign said "Chinky Elvis sings for you! Donate to the Salvation Army!"
I'm not making this up. I couldn't. I wouldn't. There's no way I could ever imagine an Asian Elvis (calling HIMSELF Chinky Elvis, no less) in an electric blue jumpsuit, karaokin' Christmas carols and ringing a bell. Nope. I have a good imagination, but not that good!
I was very "Bah Humbug!" yesterday. The whole week, actually. I got through my appointment with my surgeon without crying. Mostly. I welled up a little, but at no time did tears roll down my face. No sir. I was a good girl this time. I was bound and determined to have one tear-free appointment if it killed me. It didn't kill me. Obviously.
I still got my hug, though. Big hug. From the cute surgeon. We like that.
After all that, I just wanted to come home and nap. That didn't happen. Had to go pick up the kid from school and deposit my check. The check that was over a week late. The check that made me cry. Fortunately, the claims adjustor (the local one the L.A. office just told me about) helped me out and I finally got a check. Finally.
So, there I was, a bundle of nerves that didn't cry in the surgeon's office, running errands, and feeling just a wee bit cranky. Okay, a lot cranky. And then there was "Chinky Elvis" in his electric blue jumpsuit.
If you can't smile at something like that, you're totally screwed.
Posted by Da Goddess at 04:59 PM | Comments (9)
Doc Rocks!
"Car" Doc in the Box was the ultimate cool of cool today. He worked on my car earlier today, changing all the plugs, checking all the hoses and filters, and even checking fuses.
The car is still chugging along, but at least I have a good idea of what it's NOT. If we had more time, I'm sure we could have figured out exactly what was wrong wrongest the most wrong the root of this particular problem was.
Little Dude came with me and Doc set him down in front of the TV to watch The Incredibles. Mrs. Doc was upstairs getting ready for their day and by the time we were done outside, she was done, too. I got to look through some of the photos Doc shot of her recently and I absolutely fell in love with a couple of the pics.
Thanks to Doc for all his wonderful help and for making me laugh today!
P.S. You know it's been a crazy horrible week when you have your camera with you but fail to take pictures of the cracked spark plugs and such. Yep.
Posted by Da Goddess at 04:47 PM | Comments (1)
December 12, 2005
Flying Spaghetti Monster Outraged At Da Goddess
DG Underwire, San Diego - The Flying Spaghetti Monster and his following, the pastafarians, have set up camp out side the home of Da Goddess.
Outraged over her revealing photographs of tortellini, the Spaghetti Monster alerted his minions to stand together against the photographer, calling her work "unspeakable, exploitive, crude, tasteless, vulgar, bordering on criminal."
FSM, as he is called by some, stated that he and the others would remain on the premises until the X-rated photos were removed from Da Goddess' website.
"In this day and age, when pasta has worked so hard to achieve the success and acceptance that has been denied them for so long, it's disgraceful to see such blatant and distasteful objectification of such a classy pasta as tortellini. It breaks my heart. It really does," he said.
Da Goddess issued a statement late this morning.
"I am sorry that the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his pastafarians have chosen to view my work as something other than I intended. I believe the meaning of any work of art is in the eye of the beholder. If the pastafarians see anything other than delicious flour and cheese in my photographs, perhaps they need to look deep into their hearts and ask why they see what they do. For me, I only wanted to convey the natural beauty of the tortellini. The long curves, the delicate folds, the mouth-watering appeal. I believe I accomplished what I set out to do and do not apologize for my art."
Da Goddess has remained locked in her home since the protesters appeared. According to neighbors, the pastafarians have been chanting incessantly since they arrived. Rocks and bricks of parmesan have been hurled toward the residence of the photographer as well.
"It's horrible," one neighbor was heard to say. "I don't understand why anyone would protest a couple of photos. It's not like they were photographed being eaten or anything."
Reporters will remain on scene to bring you updates.
Posted by Da Goddess at 09:59 AM | Comments (6)
December 10, 2005
Fun With Photography
Posted by Da Goddess at 08:35 PM | Comments (9)
December 09, 2005
Procrastination Blog
I know I need to blog about a lot of things, but I figure I'll get to it later.
Ain't it always the way? You have so much going on that you can't seem to get ANYTHING done!
Yesterday was the big PT functional evaluation. I went in, did my thing, tried not to cry (I'm a big girl, okay?), did my very best, and finally had to yell "uncle" when I couldn't take it anymore.
The big obstacle with the work conditioning program is that it's from 8-11am, 30+ miles away - and I'd be traveling in rush hour traffic. Oh, did I forget to mention that Little Dude doesn't start school until 8:55am? I'd either have to not have him the day before those appointments or I'd have to add another 10 miles to my trip.
Additionally, I'd be attempting that trip in my car. You remember my car, right?
The physical therapist who did the evaluation said she'd rather see me work with PT up in my area. God bless her!
We don't like adding stress, do we? No, we don't. And we really don't want to tempt fate, either. Nope. Not us.
So there you have it. I've managed to cross one post off my list. I'll get to the rest later. Someday. When I have time.
And someday, I'll figure out why I can't post a comment to my own freakin' blog anymore.
Posted by Da Goddess at 11:12 PM | Comments (1)
December 07, 2005
Warped - That's Me
Because my inner child doesn't really exist, I must indulge the outer child and revisit all the golden oldies. Yes, I'm repeating myself. It's Old-Timers for the under-40 set, m'kay?
I was showing a friend these the other day and he didn't get the appeal. He's almost as warped as I am so I'm rather stymied as to how he failed to see the brilliance of the following:
For Scott, the Fat Guy - It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time! (Just know that this is all his fault anyway.)
For no reason other than I laugh hysterically everytime - Spiderman will make you gay.
And, last, but not least - Trogdor!
P.S. I want a Trogdor sticker for my new car that Santa just HAS to bring me.
Posted by Da Goddess at 01:13 PM | Comments (3)
Don't Bother To Knock
Sometimes you read something that someone's written and laugh. I mean, really laugh.
Such was the case upon reading this:
HALF-NAKED FEMALE: DON'T YOU KNOCK? (putting shirt back on)
ME: Before I come into my office?
HALF-NAKED MALE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! (buttoning pants)
ME: (starting to enjoy this) I have a student coming in two minutes. Finish up....
HALF-NAKED MALE: STOP HARASSING US YOU PERVERT OR I'LL REPORT YOU!
ME: (still holding door) You'll report me for your having sex in my office?
Just in case you would like to read the very delightful story in full...
Posted by Da Goddess at 02:15 AM | Comments (2)
December 06, 2005
Anthony Gomes
The Anthony Gomes Band was playing their hearts out. The lighting was momentarily quite bright when I shot this. Anthony's a bit obscured by the light and takes on a sort of rockin' blues heavenly being appearance. I kind of like it.
Lending an even more angelic cast to this artist, he was the ultimate gentleman and host during a recent three day run. Gotta love a skinny white guy who treats everyone with respect and kindness and can sing like an old Delta bluesman.
P.S. Gomes rhymes with "homes"
Posted by Da Goddess at 05:11 AM | Comments (1)
The Joe Bonamassa Band
Big changes in the line-up for the Joe Bonamassa Band as Kenny Kramme (drums) and Eric Czar (bass) move on to other projects. The new drummer is Bogie Bowles and the new bassist is Mark Epstein. While the band's overall personality has shifted a bit, the music still kicks ass!
Posted by Da Goddess at 04:58 AM | Comments (1)
December 05, 2005
Flattery Will Get You Everywhere
Dear Goddess,
It's been a long time since you've updated and I'm beginning to worry about you. Are you okay? Can I get you anything? Shall I pass a note on to Santa for you?
I look forward to reading your keen observations, perusing your photos, and drooling over your cleavage. You are funny, intelligent, quick on your feet, occasionally brazen, wickedly titillating, and there are times when you have elicited tears with your prose. When you don't update, I always imagine the worst. It drives me crazy! I wish I could be there to take care of you.
Can I?
With Deep Respect and Admiration,
The Entirely Ensorcelled Salivating Someone From Somewhere
Dear EESSeFS,
Thank you for your inquiry. While I cannot, and will not, provide you with ALL the details of my life (unless you happen to have oodles of spare cash you'd like to share sans strings), there are a few I don't mind sharing.
I have been fighting my car for the last week. Yes, the dreaded car trouble issue has reared its ugly head once again, almost leaving me stranded in the middle of the freeway at night. Fortunately, I was able to make it over to my friends' house and we somehow figured out how to get me back home.
After that, I had a brief journey on which to embark. The results were all for which I'd hoped. Well, almost. But, they were close enough to what I wanted and that works for me.
I've also been fending off a number of would-be suitors. I'm not really sure from whence they came and I'm not even bothering to find out. All I know is that I've suddenly become the object of desire for men over the age of 55. Okay, two of them are under 50. That doesn't do me much good when I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with them.
Hmm, let me rephrase that. I know what I could do with them, but I'm not sure that's what I want. Just a few weeks ago, I would have loved all the attention. I do rather like it now, too. It's just that I'm not certain why it's happening NOW. A kind friend said it's likely due to the fact that I seem happier these days. I told her that I'm still a cranky bitch. Whatever it is, I'm treading carefully so as not to hurt any feelings.
Additionally, I've been busy trying to get the new CD burner (that kind friends sent me) to work. I had a friend install it, but we can't seem to get it to do what it's supposed to do.
I'm also constantly picking up around the house since it's on the market. Yuck. Everyone seems to be moving right now and there's not much available in my neighborhood for rent. At least, not in my price range. Why can't the folks from Extreme Home Makeover ever answer my prayers?
Anyhow, that's what I've been up to. Nothing too exciting. Just more of the same in the land of Da Goddess.
Santa? I'm very tempted to go sit on his lap myself and grind a little, if necessary, to get the things I want for Christmas. I'm not sure if that would make me naughty or nice, but that hardly matters if it brings me everything on my list.
As for you taking care of me, that depends on what your true intentions are. It would be even better if you could help me find a concert buddy for Saturday night. Yep, that's right. I need a pal for Saturday. Part of the problem I've experienced lately is that the majority of people I'm surrounded by are professional musicians. That's not a good thing when you want to go see a band. Everyone's working. Sigh.
I hope that answers your questions.
Signed,
DG
P.S. I'm freezing my ass off here. It's currently 38 degrees Fahrenheit.
Posted by Da Goddess at 05:47 PM | Comments (7)